making sense of it all

“You, yourself, are the eternal energy which appears as this Universe. You didn’t come into this world; you came out of it.” – Alan Watts

---

I’m in studio working a portrait of my brother. I am wondering how beingness exits form. I draw the physical expression though it’s the subtle that motivates me.

With that said, my notes…
I think about the 5 sense organs and how we experience the physical world. The physical senses include hearing (audition), sight (vision), smell (olfaction),  taste (gustation) and touch (somatosenastion).

The sense organs collect information from outside of the body…directing it…to…inside the body.  The receiver of external signal is the nervous system which sends information to the brain. Consequently one moves in the direction of that which is perceived or one moves away.

As I paint, I consider both the subtle and physical. (There is more to the senses that I won’t get into here.)

Does being enter the physical body, one sense at a time? Does the body light up slow and steady with awareness? Does being exit with each sense that goes out…going off-line…one perception at a time? And then might the infinite, as it receives being, light up?

And my study …
The olfactory nerve, the first and shortest of the cranial nerves, supports the sense of smell. Smell connects to taste and also serves the respiratory system.
Note: It is the only cranial nerve, that if damaged, may repair itself.

The olfactory bulb ↓ makes me think of a Q-tip, filled with with sensory neurons.
(Note: The nerve also  plays a role in emotion and memory sending data to the amygdala and hippocampus.)   #ICanSmell

The sense of taste (aided by the sense of smell) is responsible for perception of flavor. Taste buds can be ↓ found on the tongue, palette and throat. Their taste receptor cells (gustatory cells) are triggered by food and/or drink as it dissolves in saliva. I’ve learned about various epithelial cells in the body and here I learn about the epithelium of the tongue which holds the papillae (the small bumps visible to the naked eye).  A tongue has 2,000 – 8,000 taste buds. If one is  damaged, it can be replaced within 48 hours.

Below ↓ is the organ of hearing. I read somewhere, hearing travels with the mind.  I don’t know what this means exactly, but I like thinking they come and go together. Included in my inner ear study are the organs of balance (spool-like shapes ↓ at the ends of the semicircular canals).
(Words I want to keep that connect to this organ: receiver, amplifier, transmitter, electrical, vibration, frequency.) #IHear #IListen (more and more each day)

The eye-ball is the organ of sight and vision. It supports ones ability to see. We use our eyes to look, judge depth and interpret information. Eyes send signals to the brain that can impact hormones, sleep, and various chemicals. #sunrise #sunset
Pupils, because they track information, are a readout of ones internal state (note size of pupil).  The retina is actually a part of your central nervous system (the brain) that sits outside of the skull. #ILook #ISee #IAmVisual

brain cap. eye ball.

There is no one, single sense organ related to touch. If I had to choose (and I don’t) it could be the skin. Is touch one of the first senses to develop? It occurs across the entire body trough receptors in the skin. I focus on the fingertips ↓ because they have a large concentration of nerves. The receptors send signals via spine and lower brain to a strip curving around the cerebral cortex known as somatosensory cortex that I place into the cap. Touch is in the body and in the mind. #ITouch #IFeel

In: Oct 10, 1964. Out: July 8, 2020.
#AWaveOfLightDrawsYouIn #AWaveOfLightDrawsYouOut

My brother would like this portrait of him. I think he’d like the (brain) cap most especially.
#WorkInProgress

---

First Law of Thermodynamics: Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. The total amount of energy and matter in the Universe remains constant, merely changing from one form to another.

 

medulla oblongata

This last week, in the studio, I layout another brain (inferior view) including brainstem and cerebellum. Today I add cranial nerves.

I think about Lester, a teacher.

Looking for my notes of his exact words, I don’t find them. Though I can recall the tone and pace as he said…Spirit enters the body at the medulla (pause) oblongata.

I’ve drawn the brain stem so many times in the last few years and only now do I feel the need to pinpoint the medulla. One could think I’d know…because it’s the area where the tenth cranial nerve, aka, the vagus nerve, exits the brain. The vagus nerve, not only the longest nerve of the autonomic nervous system and hence called the wandering nerve, is a favorite.

The medulla oblongata is the lower half of the brain stem connecting to the spinal cord.
I can talk science…but won’t. I can talk life-force energy…not now. Keeping it simple.

Physical body. Subtle body.
Connect.
All the deep breaths and the stillness that comes with them.
Making sense. 

---

©2020 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED BY MONICA AISSA MARTINEZ

deep in the solar plexus – the pancreas

I love the shape and texture of the pancreas – long, flat, soft and flexible. I’ve drawn it before and wonder why didn’t I note it tucked deep into the solar plexus? This organ carries some energy!

The 6″ organ sits behind the stomach and in front of the spine. The head of the pancreas nuzzles the duodenum while the tail end tapers into the spleen. The organ is gray-pink in color but because I want to emphasize subtle energy, my representation is yellow (golden) dominant.

Pancreas (anterior)

The pancreas plays a role in both the endocrine system and the digestive system.

As part of the endocrine system the pancreas produces hormones (insulin, glucagon, somatostatin and pancreatic polypeptide), secreting them directly into the bloodstream. One of its jobs is to monitor the bloodstream. When the pancreas detects a rise in glucose levels it responds by producing a hormone called insulin. Insulin attaches to cells signaling them to open up and absorb the glucose (basic fuel for the body) from your blood.  Insulin allows cells to receive the energy they need and ensures blood glucose level remains stable.

It also holds an exocrine function involving secretion of digestive enzymes that break down carbohydrates, lipids, and in particular – proteins – aiding in digestion and absorption of nutrients in the small intestine.

Pancreas (posterior) Slight color variation signifies – from left to right – the tail, body, neck and head

Symbolically:
The pancreas is located in the solar plexus, the area representing the center of will.
Connected to it are the energies of stability, instinct and intuition, along with will, courage, choice, action and peace.

Caroline Myss connects the pancreas to the sweetness in our life…ahhh glucose.

---

I am in the planning with the University of Arizona medical school for a solo exhibition. I hope to include the endocrine system I designed last year. Because the pancreas from that original series found a buyer, I draw another. Returning to it allows more insight.

the wandering nerve, the vagus nerve, the pneumogastric nerve

I have come to the conclusion trust your gut means trust your vagus nerve.  And having  butterflies in the stomach may in fact be saying something about our vagus nerve too.

Otto Loewi, a German physiologist, discovered stimulating the vagus nerve caused a reduction in heart-rate. He suspected a trigger or release of something he called vagusstoff (German for vagus substance). I note Loewi was led to this insights and eventual experiment via a dream, maybe 2 dreams actually (did he trust his gut? his vagus nerve?).  Scientists eventually identify acetylcholine (vagusstoff), a neurotransmitter.

Deep, slow breaths – in through the nose – calms (releases acetylcholine?) the vagus nerve.  I don’t know, I’m an artist….

I revisit the Vagus Nerve these last few weeks.  I refer to it in an earlier work, now I focus and map it out life-size. I hope to detail and know its route through the organs. This is harder than I can know and it’s a good thing I don’t give it much thought before I outline the general area. General area is short for (all) organs of (entire) torso. I begin the work more realistic than usual, knowing I will loosen up and play with shapes as I move along.

The vagus nerve is one of two long (long, long) cranial nerves also called the wandering nerve. It wanders through many of our organs.  It’s also known as Cranial Nerve X (CNX). I learn it’s also called the pneumogastric nerve (less romantic).

It emerges at the back of the skull and moves down the down the body where it makes its way through the abdomen. On its journey it comes in contact with the ears, voice box, heart, lungs, stomach, liver, spleen, pancreas, the large and especially the small intestine.

The vagus nerve helps regulate heartbeat, control muscle movement, keep a person breathing, as well as transmit chemicals through the body. It also keeps the digestive tract working by contracting the muscles of the stomach and the intestines. Without this crucial nerve we would find it hard to speak, breath, eat and our heartbeat would become irregular.

I think I read the vagus nerve is the one that makes us throw up….hmmm. And it can cause one to faint. I don’t know. I also don’t know if my drawing is complete. I have more to double-check. This nerve meanders and so does my mind.

 

 

the physical pelvic floor and the subtle mūla bandha

I’ve never heard of a Urogynecology. Talking with Tara, in my studio, she wonders if I can draw pelvic floor anatomy.  Are you talking about the perineum? That’s part of it, she says as she names muscles of the pelvic floor. I’m impressed. All I know at this point is that she’s in physical therapy. I ask if she’s heard of Mula Bandha (Sanskrit). What’s that? she asks. It’s the root lock, I explain. No, she’s never heard of it.

Mula Bandha is an energetic seel that locks prana (life force) into the body, located at the base of the spine, at the pelvic floor. To practice mula bandha you activate the perineum (muscular body between the anus and the genitals) at its center.  It supports the body by strengthening muscles and supports the mind by creating calmness and stability – primarily through the breath.

I understand (from my Yoga Teacher’s Training) the practice of mula bandha offers people physical as well as emotional benefits. I know a bit about the general muscles in the area though Tara’s work is specialized. She brings me reading material. In conversation she explains the diaphragm is connected to the pelvic floor. How so? I ask. They share the same fascia, she answers. Everything is connected. Of course they do, and yes everything is connected. Breath work too, is a part of the therapy she provides.

I ask about her clients, are they male or female? I assume perhaps they’re females, after giving birth. Yes, I do see women after childbirth but I also see men.  She notes incontinence, constipation as well as various sexual dysfunctions.  She explains tight muscles, loose muscles and other contributing causes to function and/or impairment of the pelvic floor.

I work on these 2 small mixed media works. And I use new materials. I’m not sure if I’m finished. Naturally I want to include all the muscles of the legs and abstract the composition more – but I also want to keep the focus on the pelvic floor. Will see.

Two weeks ago I drew out the brain and the spinal cord. This week I work on the area at the base of the spine. It feels natural and organic. The more I learn the more I realize there is  much more to learn.

Our intricate body – so completely fascinates me.

today i am a biologist

 

Growth is a spiral process, doubling back on itself, reassessing and regrouping. –    Julia Margaret Cameron

---

This is the second time I make a map. The first, a few years back, was a map of the city of Phoenix laid out as a living cell. I made it for an invitational exhibition called You Are Here. That summer I saw myself as a cartographer. With this new drawing the cell itself is primary, the city is secondary and I am a biologist mapping out the smallest unit of life.

In esoteric teaching it’s believed there exists a blueprint of the physical body. Changes in the body occur in the blueprint before they appear into its physical form. As I work I think there must be a blueprint for each and every individual cell. Imagine that!

I can probably still call this work You are Here. You think cells are inside you but in fact you are in each cell. Are you the life in each tiny cell? Could you in fact be the maker of each cell?

Am I the maker of the blueprint?  Am I the one who maps out each and every cell? I can only say for certain – today I am.

Detail shot of the cell.

The Nucleus controls activities and contains the cells genetic material (DNA). The And the Endoplasmic Reticulum is like a labrynth holding and moving molecules.

The Golgi Body packages proteins and lipids before they get sent to their destination.

The Mitochondria is the power plant of the cell and holds its own DNA

I didn’t plan to work this big but in the end it’s allowed for me to really think about the space I fill – the space I live in.

 

cell study and the mitochondria

One source informs me there are over 10 trillion cells in the human body, another says 34 trillion. Discovered by Robert Hooke in 1665, I like that he thought it resembled cells inhabited by Christian monks in a monastery. It brings a little of the sacred into the picture. 34 trillion sacred cells!

I mapped out a living cell a few years ago. And after all I have learned, I return to basics (with new eyes) determined not to place anything into my composition until I have a better grasp of what it does. Slow  -S-L-O-W-  going this week.

The large circular form ↑ is the Nucleus. The word is Latin in origin and means kernel. It controls cell function. The nucleus holds the DNA.  What I learn about the Nucleolus (dense [purple] area in nucleus) and the Endoplasmic Reticulum (greenish areas) makes me want to ingest high-quality protein as often as possible.

And then there is the Mitochondria ↓ which comes from the Greek,  mitos meaning thread and chondrion meaning granule or grain-like.  They are part of our body’s microcircuitry.  Think power-house. The mitochondria make the physical energy of our cells AND they form subtle energies that connect to meridians. It’s this latter find that causes me to isolate it here.

I heard someone say yesterday that artists don’t present answers, they present questions. I have so many….

subtle

What is the Subtle Body? I keep asking the question.

According to Mosby’s Dictionary of Complementary and Alternative Medicine I understand it is a network of energy channels that transport energy derived from oxygen, sensory, and food-derived nutrients. The network lies parallel to blood vessels and nerves in the body; it facilitates and coordinates the movement of the flow of blood and neural impulses. It is not an anatomical system such as the cardiovascular or nervous system. It cannot be viewed conventionally. Instead, it is accessed through practice of imagination and visualization that can be accomplished through meditation.*

It cannot be seen conventionally? And only accessed through practice of imagination and visualization?

About this painting:
I already mentioned my shoulders and hands ache and so awareness of the body heightens. I paint a hand a few weeks ago. Now I work on the back body.  How does the body maintain balance, how is equilibrium regained.

Once again I carefully lay out a spinal column, counting out each vertebrae from the base of the skull to the bottom of the pelvis. I ground the form in recognizable anatomy but the goal is to focus on the nervous system. Woven through the center of the study are arteries, veins and the lymphatic system. Extending out from everything are the nerves.

A friend reminds me of the great Cauda Equina, the bundle of nerves that run through the lower part of the lumbar vertebra. I enhance the area. I lay structure down for a few days before I put all reference material away and work without it. 

Cause and effect. Cause. Effect. Balance. Imbalance. Physical. Subtle. Physical. Subtle. The body. Energy.  Flow. Tangle. Flow.

The body, in the short time a human inhabits it – can supply one with the greatest prod for growth. The questions change out a bit with this work –

Who am I? What am I? What is this body and what is my relationship to it?

 

subtle – this body is a construct

Construct

Instrument
Bind
Connect
Thread
Build
Encase
Flow
Lace
Hold
Organic
Physical
Weave

The body is a construct.

I produced a video that shows my working process – how stage above became stage below. I produced 4 versions of the video. The real-time video runs about 30 minutes, it’s long. The first edited version is 22 minutes and it captures what I really like about my working process. It will run next to the original work on paper, at the exhibit.

The final version is about 13 minutes and you can see it on YouTube at the link below. The first part is activity, and the last part shows stages of the composition to completion.

I had to adjust the whole thing numerous times, to be able to finally upload it and share. I  enjoyed most of the process. I learned a few things…

Putting together a quality video is complicated.

There’s text,
there’s random sound caught on the radio as I worked, I learned to lift it and place it where I wanted it (it was weirdly applicable and it starts the video and ends the video),
then there’s the deliberately created sound,
there are transition points …

all layered and as consuming as making a small painting

Most important I learned sharing artist process cannot be captured in its true-scope. Once you start manipulating something…well…it ceases to be what it is and becomes something else, yes it transforms. It’s like it goes from the natural, to the man-made.

Patricia, the friend that commissioned the work – it’s her back body – is going to let me borrow it for the exhibition. That’s what she said anyway. Thanks Pat, timing is everything.

the subtle body – nothing in stasis

Subtle
in ref. to things – of thin consistency
in ref. to craftsmen – skilled, clever
From O.Fr. soutil, from L. subtilis  – fine, thin, delicate, finely woven
from sub under + -tilis from tela web
texere to weave

---

I like the desaturated photograph below. It comes alive in a different way, for me. I have documented most everything in both color and black and white for this new series.

The work represents the posterior view of a female torso. I’ve completed a male posterior already. I use a model (the person who commissioned the work) for the initial layout. It’s a 36″ x 25″, casein and graphite painting, on a fine sheet of cream Arches paper. I’ve been working on it for about 3 weeks.

---

The moment of change is the only poem.   – Adrienne Rich

 

an homage to the back body

The mind is the switchboard for the nervous system of the body.  -LL

---

Maybe I’m complete with this one work of the posterior view of the torso anatomy. More than likely it’s the first of several. You may recall it all started with researching Nadis. Nadis translates to flow and somewhat connects to the nerves, veins and arteries – and make up what is called the subtle body. There are said to be 72,000 of them. What does that all mean? Hence, one reason for the initial start of the anatomy series.  I went from the parts (the individual organs) in earlier drawings and paintings,  to the whole, in this body of work. At this moment, I might be back to the parts that make up the various systems.  What a door I have opened.  I’ve studied the body for over 20 years. Why only now am I curious with the subtle connections in this very determined and particular way?

I’ve already said I’m not familiar with the back of the body like I am with the front. Why did I not start my study with the visually rhythmic backbone? After-all the vertebrae is the structure that houses, supports and protects  the brain and spinal cord. The whole central nervous system has me so engrossed these days. Once upon a time, I started with the heart, moved to the brain, and it’s inevitable that I find myself going down the spine. Actually – it’s more like – up the spine.

The spine supports the rib cage which protects the heart and lungs. It sets the muscles of the gastrointestinal organs including the stomach, intestine, liver, spleen, pancreas (from this posterior view it’s the first time I’ve really understood how the pancreas fits into the space), kidneys and urinary system. And it holds onto the pelvis which houses the excretory and reproductive organs.

Metaphorically, how do we experience the back of the body? It carries with it emotional, physical, and financial associations. Here are a few that come quickly to mind: support, stability, strength – lack / abundance, out of sight out of mind – carrying issues but not dealing with them, also the back body represents the past – relaxed or tense. And remember Atlas, who carried the world on his shoulders. My friend Maria says the shoulder blades connect to joy.

My yoga instructor Meg says … the legs are the governor of the back. This clarifies for me to stand with a firm foundation. I ask a few friends, who have studied the body through yoga, how they respond to their back body.

Patricia comments first:
The back body for me is a Mystery, that after ten years of [Yoga] Practice, is just now starting to reveal itself to me. Because my back feels so different to me than what it actually looks like, it is the one part of me that I love ( and actually require) having other people’s feedback on. My back body is a spiral, and it has its own loop*. 

Deborah follows with her insight:
Our back body is our “connection” to the Universal, our Self, each other…I see it as connection. if you think about the spinal cord…there’s “connection” to our entire body. So, out of that connection to the Universal…community…comes “support”…and if I think about the spine…it gives us “support”! To tie these together I think about the loops, which all initiate from the back body so we “soften”…especially kidney loop* and opening to grace…when we soften and “lean into it.” There’s “support,” there’s “connection,” and “grace”.

*Loop is an energetic reference in their yoga practice.

How do I engage with the back body?   Obviously it’s highly complex, and visually it’s stimulating and wonderful. Strength and flexibility (rooted in firm foundation) are key. And that’s just the beginning.

In all directness, this work, this drawing and study, serves me to understand that my body is my own.  It’s that simple and that complex.

Despite all the care I’ve set up with the color, I like the de-saturated image. It gives me some odd sense of celebration. And it captures the depth of its mystery.

Do you have a preference? Colorful top image? Or the latter black and white?
How do you experience your back body?

nothing in stasis (the subtle body)

“A hundred and one are the arteries of the heart, one of them leads up to the crown of the head. Going upward through that, one becomes immortal.” Chandogya Upanishad

---

The image above is the layout of the drawing, the beginning of the painting.

The image below shows the final stage and completion of the work.

You can see the stages in between, in the 2 minute video below. The images are accompanied by sounds created by Joe Willie Smith and myself.

---